The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
