He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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