Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So vagazzling was a success
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
