I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
