if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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