Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
