yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
