Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize