so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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