the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
