They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
