No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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