was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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