she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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