You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
