I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
