I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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