worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
