fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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