You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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