Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
