I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
honey bunches of taint.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
