I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
