You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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