Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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