you didnt know i had herpes?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize