I wannas sexs uuuuu
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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