It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
