I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
