so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize