Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
