So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh god it's open bar.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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