Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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