And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
