i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize