and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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