Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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