We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I touched a dick in church today
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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