i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
