can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
