Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
