I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
