if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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