Where did you get a picture of my penis
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
