I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
