I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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