That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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