WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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