It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
