thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
