I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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