I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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