did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize