You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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