David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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