well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
