sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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